Good news!

I love it when I go to an endo and get good news at the end of it all.

Soooo.... I'm no longer on injected insulin. They didn't believe my numbers in my testing kit, checked it's calibration, then had me test on their machine as well and call another doctor. They put me on a new oral medication, the grand total should be $10/mo copay.

The best guess they have for why I'm improving so much when other people with similar diets aren't improving?

Crossfit. :D




Two years after I was told that the thing I thought was a mild flu was really a pesky little bacteria eating at my pancreas, and that I was a new type 1 diabetic and might never get it back...

I'm now at 100% pancreatic function. I'm now a type 2 diabetic with massive insulin resistance (which happens when you need to take insulin shots to survive and your working your way back up...) but that can be fixed with diet, exercise, and moderate/appropriate medication.

ALSO- I will now be taking my before and after meal insulin a lot more regularly. I was taking it twice a week instead of every day because it hurt so damn much. After mentioning this to my Dr, he asked me if it was the needles... I said I used the same needles for the long acting insulin as I did the short acting insulin.

After a few more leading questions and me describing the hideous hell-fire feeling of the shot, followed by days of pain at the injection site... I'm freaking allergic to the preservative in Humalog. I got a new type of short-acting insulin today and it didn't hurt at all, I'm so excited. I can do this! It's a lot easier when taking care of myself isn't incredibly painful. Also, I don't feel bad anymore for being such a weenie about how much the shots hurt. They really, really, hurt and I wasn't just being a big baby.

The last note, for those of you who have been worried- the ovaries have been cleared of any and all shenanigans, and once my A1C (3 month blood sugars) drop down to a more reasonable level (they are scary/stupid high at 12.6- I know, I know, it's being worked on) I'll be able to pop out babies like the good Irish peasant stock I am.

Thank you everyone for your love and support these last two years. It's been a ride, but it's coming to an end and I'm coming out the other side victorious.

Well THAT was reassuring

Ok, so I lasted 6 days at HostGator before they pulled me out of training, gave me a promotion and a raise, and now I'm working a job that i like better, that suits me better.

It's gratifying when people notice you're awesome, tell you you're great, and then do something about it.

In other news, I now have Hiring Authority. If you know anyone looking for a technical support job, send them my way. If you know anyone with linux server administration skills, send them my way.

Life is sometimes puzzling, but it's nice that good things are happening.

This Is Why I'm Fat, part 406

Yesterday I had quite a startling revelation about why I tend to stay fat. I hate running and walking, this is no shock, but I finally realized WHY.

Shoes don't fit me right.

I have known for years that most shoes are made in China, and the lasts tend to be Chinese- and Chinese women tend to have rectangular feet, like so [].

Women of Celtic ancestery (of where the old Kaloti tribes lived- through parts of Germany and France as well, old central Europe) tend to have triangular shaped feet \/ like so. This is why Berkenstocks and the shoes made in Europe tend to fit people who've never been able to really find shoes that fit well- their last is based on the assumption of wider toes and narrower heels.

My feet are duck-shaped enough that I have an extra-narrow heel, and an extra-wide toebox area.

The last few days running around in the garden my feet have been KILLING me- cramping in the arch, lots of pain, lots of badness- and I finally realized that while I can shove my foot into a wide-with shoe with something to stop it from slipping off the back, whenever I do anything active, the balls of my feet and toes spread- and if they're squunched in the shoe it f'ing HURTS. This might also help explain my horrible sense of balance (or I might still just be clumsy).

When running hurts, you're less likely to do it. When walking hurts, you're less likely to do it.

I'm going to have to figure out how to make my own shoes for puttering around in the garden and working out, because I am indeed very tired of being fat, and this is a sily thing to hold me back. It makes sense, though- every time I've worked out I've ended up in pain, and just basic Skinnerian conditioning says that will make me AVOID whatever that stimulus is.

So, I need to change this, and then see if I can make any more progress.

Petty women with small amounts of power

For the most part, I have been pretty happy with GirlChild's school. Her teacher and I are on the same page (and she's a first year teacher, so awesome there- GirlChild is her first super gifted student and Ms. Teacher is very excited about that, and does a LOT of extra stuff with the kid, so I'm pleased as far as that goes) but today, I had to deal with an administrator that made me knee-jerk want to pull GirlChild out of school to homeschool her.

So, since we bought the house, we've gone from Kid-On-Bus to me driving kid. I've never been punctual, and getting into a new early morning routine has been a bit of an adjustment. Girlchild was out sick yesterday so I went into the office when I dropped her off and filled out an absence form for her, and this troll-like woman came up to me and asked me if I was GirlChild's Mom.

I said yes, and she mentioned that in GirlChild had been tardy seven times this school year. At ten, I'd be required to take a PARENTING CLASS to teach me to value my child's education, and pay an 80 to 500 dollar fine.

That's right.

I'd have to take a class to teach me to value... her education. I do hours of supplementary work with her after school, but if she's late for the before-school ASSEMBLY (trust me, there is no education going on when the principal is addressing all the students in the school every morning- and I've talked to GirlChild about how she does not, in fact, have to pledge allegiance to any damn thing, much less a flag, in the early morning indoctrination sessions, but that's another rant. GirlChild is perfectly capable of standing in line and being a good little sheeple already.) I don't value her education.

So, I was going to talk to the weasel-eyed woman about this and find out exactly what's going on, but the SECOND the bell rang, she started handing out Tardy Slips. She was nice to the kids but she positively glowed when the parents came in to drop their kid off and she got to chastise them. I lost my temper when she started on the same "value your child's education" speach with two parents, one who's kid just got out of the hospital and was coming BACK to school, and the other was a very frazzled looking black gentleman who looked like he was about to fall over dead on his feet- he was exhausted but his kids were spotlessly clean and had that glowing look of loved children around them.  This is a woman with very little power who adores exercising every last inch of it.

I despise petty bureaucrats. When one insinuates that I don't care about GirlChild's education because I am not all ramped up and enthused by the wonderful educational moments in the first 5 minutes of their morning assembly, I want to remove myself from the system entirely.

I am very proud of myself for not telling her to fuck off in front of all the Precious Little Snowflakes, however. Good for me.
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    pissed off pissed off

Happy Anniversery, Ben!

Coming up this month is my two year wedding anniversary with Ben. This is made more amusing by the fact that Ben insists that in fact, we're not married, and the thing that I took as our wedding never happened. I'm sitting around thinking "But, dude, it HAPPENED."

So, here's my memory, two years ago, of Ben and I making a commitment to each other, that I considered a marriage and he does not.
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Please keep in mind, that Ben believes that one needs a bit of paper from the government to be married. I think that's a nice bonus thing, but much like cake, unnecessary unless one wants insurance. For me a marriage is two people joining their lives, fortunes, and sacred honor, as well as making a commitment to each other. Here's how I remember it:

We were at the apartment on Brodie Lane. Ben had been driving to visit us every other weekend, exhausting himself, after dropping off girlchild, who I had not met. We were lounging nude on the big round bed, either post-sex or post-nap, I can't remember which (probably nap, I don't remember being sticky.) The window was open and this lovely golden light was pouring through from behind Ben, his hair curled and tussled and glowing like a halo, his body seeming to be lit from within. He was perfect and beautiful, with one hand propping up his head, like a classic Odalisque painting.

He said he was so sad waiting two weeks to see us, that this was killing him. The drive was too much. He missed sleeping snuggled with us. He just missed being with us, but he wasn't sure about the next step.

We talked about him moving in. He asked me if I'd be willing to parent Girlchild, and (having thought/talked about it a lot before) I said yes, I'd raise his daughter like my own. He asked about finances, I said if he wanted, I'd add him as a joint partner on my accounts (he already knew my PIN for my ATM card, and it bothered him quite a bit). After all the dating, the talking, the phone calls, the IM's... I knew I wanted Ben as a part of my life for as far as I could see, and I trusted him with my life, my fortune, and my sacred honor. I never wanted to be apart from him again.

He said he felt the same way, and in that moment, with him in the golden light, I felt it. Warm like honey, joy filled me, and it hasn't left. That thing that all the money, the dresses, the craziness tries to celebrate and create was there, and even in our cranky moments I still feel. I get to be a part of this incredible person's life, and I get to share my life with them. 

That was the moment- in Feburary, hell if I know the day, that I devoted myself, with no holding back or reserve, to living the rest of my life with Ben.

About that time, Jeff came out of the bathroom cleanly showered, and joined our conversation. We all came to the same conclusion, that we needed to be together. After that, we lay snuggling in the bed, all of us glowing with happiness, laughing.

It took some time to arrange for him to move in with us, for me to meet Eris, and for everything to work out, but after that day, after those decisions, it all came together. That was the moment we went from sex and fun to forging a new family. That moment is when, in my heart, Ben and I were married.

Dating Ben was great. Living my life with him day in and day out, however, is better. Every day I know how lucky I am to have Ben in my life, he's so funny, so complex and so amazing. I love him, and I'm honored to be in his life.

I love him, and I'm looking forward to spending the rest of my life with him.

Happy anniversary, honey.
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    loved loved

In other news, I now have a house.

Yes. I am now a house-person, with the home ownership stuff (kinda).

I have a house.

I... have a house.

I have.... a HOUSE.

Holy &%^(* shit I have a HOUSE.

It's a house I've been dreaming of for years. It's perfect, and it's mine.

This is my front door.


And this is my new fireplace.


My new dining room and computer nook (sans computers)


My kitchen


My pecan trees and my epic awesome back yard.




Move is completed, moving sucks, I feel SO HAPPY I never have to go through that shit again. I fucking love my house.

That is all.

In other news...

I am now completely out of credit card debt.

I'm celebrating by making a super frugal Turkey Dinner tonight.

Turkey on sale @ .89/lb = 9.00, instant mashed potatoes on sale at ,69. box (I'm a big beliver in real potatoes but frankly, at that price? I'll take the instant spuds), stuffing from a box @.80, last can of cranberry relish from post-holiday sale last year, .50.

Being free of credit card debt after trying to pay it off for 3+ years? Fucking PRICELESS.

Job loss, interviews, and possibly TTC?

So, lost my job at Home Depot for a very predictibly me reason (VP asked me why my team was borked, I told her the truth, next business day my services were no longer needed. Reason they told me was bogus and my immediate manager knew it, so it came from higher up. Sucks, but my big mouth is very much... a me reason to get fired).

I had 4 interviews lined up in days, and have been doing 2 a day.

I've been freaking out about a whole lot of other stuff, Jeff said when I started at Home Depot we could look seriously at having a baby if I managed to keep this job for 6+ months.

After seeing how well the jorb search is going, he's said that he's not planning on re-starting the clock if I get a job this week.

I did two second interviews, should be getting at least one offer on Friday. That's awesome. :)

That means I need to get my health shit in line so that I can start thinking seriously about having a baby. I need to get my A1c tested, I need to get it down, and I need to loose some weight so that my diabetes will be easier to control and I might need to switch to an insulin pump to keep things stable (I've been swinging between 50-60 and 230+)

In my happy baby dreams, I'd like to have fraternal twins- one from Jeff, one from Ben.

I'm looking into gyms near Potential Job #2. They pay $30/month towards your gym membership.And I got some chewable vitamins today, since prenatal vitamins make me yak. I'm also going to think real hard about quitting smoking, but since any baby-making anything is at least another 3 months out, and I'm a 2-3 cigarette a day smoker on the days I don't simply forget to smoke, I'm not too worried about that.

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